"This is why you can’t trust women! They’re so good at makeup and wear it to fool guys into thinking they’re hot!"
shit. girls he’s on to us *washes off makeup to reveal lizard face and climbs up a wall* we will return with a new disguise. soon the power of earthly men will fall
today i was in the emergency room for a concussion and the nurse asked me when my last period was and i thought about it and replied “5th period physics”
*fake moustache falls off to reveal a real moustache* god damn my identity is revealed
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
has no one asked how they found out this kid wasn’t russian
pros to dating me:
- there is no limit to the amount of times I will watch Pacific Rim
*eats piece of trash* cannibalism
This just might be the greatest thing to come out of the Pokemon fandom as of yet. Just watch/listen to it.
this girl ripped her galaxy leggings today and i couldnt stop laughing because there was a rip in the fabric of space